Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

Yeah, right. We’ve all heard this before. The adage of “sticks and stones” has caused many people to underestimate the impact of words and undervalue positive ones. If words can’t hurt, why are the effects of bullying and verbal abuse so detrimental?

I was inspired to write this blog post after reading my morning devotions. It really spoke to me, and I’d like to share it with you. It’s from Our Daily Bread three-month devotionals. The Bible reading for this one is Prov. 10:18-21; 12:17-19.

“What is the strongest muscle in the human body? Some say it’s the tongue, but it’s hard to determine which muscle is the most powerful because muscles don’t work alone.

But we do know that the tongue is strong. For a small muscle, it can do a lot of damage. This active little muscular organ that helps us eat, swallow, taste, and begin digestion has a tendency to also assist us in saying things we shouldn’t. The tongue is guilty of flattery, cursing, lying, boasting, and harming others. And that’s just the short list.

It sounds like a pretty dangerous muscle, doesn’t it? But here’s the good thing: It doesn’t have to be that way. When we are controlled by the Holy Spirit, our tongues can be turned to great good. We can speak of God’s righteousness (Ps. 35:28) and justice (Ps. 37:30). We can speak truth (Ps. 15:2), show love (1 John 3:18), and confess sin (1 John 1:9).

The writer of Proverbs 12:18 spells out one of the best uses of the tongue: ‘The tongue of the wise brings healing’ (NIV). Imagine how we could glorify the One who made our tongues when He helps us use it to bring healing — not harm — to everyone we talk to.”

We see here that God encourages us to build each other up, not break each other down. We are supposed to be supportive and kind to our fellow man/woman. But we are sinful creatures, and sometimes we act less than holy (wow, that’s an understatement). The “sticks and stones” we hurl at each other in the form of insults, the lies we tell each other, and the deafening silence when we don’t stick up for others… all of these things have more than a negative emotional impact.

Suicide is becoming more prevalent in those who are being bullied, as well as in those suffering mental health issues. I’ll save extended discussion on this for another blog post, but I’d just like to point out that this alone is a testament to how powerful words can be. It doesn’t matter if they’re said out loud, written down, or even if they’re communicated in unspoken, unwritten word. A snicker can say a thousand words. The stress from suffering emotionally, psychologically and mentally can even have physical impacts. Those who experience this type of abuse often develop health problems related to stress, and those problems can oftentimes be quite serious.

How can we fight this ever-rising tide of negativity? How can we help those who are suffering emotional turmoil?

Be kind. Be gentle. Just be there.

It makes all the difference in the world to have a positive influence in your life to balance out the negativity. Bullying hurts, but support from family, friends and colleagues can soothe the hurt, and with continued support, can help to heal the wounds of abuse. Love is stronger than hate. It doesn’t seem like it, but it is. God’s love conquers all, and we need to let it shine through us in our words and actions.

For those seeking resources on how they can help fight verbal abuse, a good place to start is StopBullying.gov, Healthy Place’s Abuse Community, and Focus on the Family’s Emotional Abuse FAQ. These sites provide both information on abuse/bullying and resources for those suffering abuse.

Are there any resources you would like to share that would be helpful to those suffering these issues? Have these issues affected you, and if so, how? Please share in the comments section below. Your experience could help others who are struggling.