Some of you might be surprised to see a blog post titled “The Most Violent Mental Illnesses.” I’ve clearly made my thoughts on the link between mental illness and violence clear, so why would I be calling any mental illnesses violent?

The truth is that I’m not.

Rather, I’ve stumbled upon some information that is, to me, groundbreaking.

The article I found is actually from 2014, but I’m surprised that it hasn’t gained more attention with the cluster of school shootings that have happened over past year.

Online blog The Atlantic interviewed neuroscientist James Fallon in January of 2014. Fallon, who was studying the brain scans of his family along with psychopathic ones, discovered that his own brain scan was that of a psychopath. This was, to say the least, a bit shocking. Fallon had grown up to be a respectable family man with no criminal record, and yet, according to science, he was “crazy.”

I’m sure we’ve all heard the term “psychopath” and conjured up images of violent, horrible people. We think that all psychopaths are criminals or delinquents, and we have the tendency to label them as doomed for a life of slaughter like the ones on TV.

If you’re a psychopath, you’re automatically violent, right?

Wrong.

I, personally, believe that there is no such thing as a violent mental illness. I subscribe to the “nurture” argument more than the nature. Yes, Fallon’s brain scans prove that genetics may have a role in one’s tendencies, but psychopathy, or any other mental illness, doesn’t force our actions.

Fallon had psychopathic tendencies growing up without even realizing it. Fortunately, he lived in a home with very loving and understanding parents. He had both a mother figure and a father figure, he was treated well by both them and his siblings, but he was seemingly indifferent towards them. Before his brain scan discovery, he treated everyone the same. The exact same. He didn’t show more love to his family than he did to strangers.

Once he was made aware of this, Fallon started to consciously make an effort to behave better towards his parents and his wife. He made an effort to care about what he made others feel. He didn’t realize he’d been hurting them emotionally all those years.

Fallon’s example proves that even psychopaths have a choice on how to behave. The environment that they’re raised in determines their likelihood of becoming violent, but their mental illness doesn’t cause violence. There is no on/off switch in the brain that people subconsciously flip and go berserk.

Although Fallon still had symptoms of psychopathy, such as putting one’s self in dangerous situations, he understood the value of life. He was raised to believe that you can’t just commit acts of violence or kill innocent people because those things were wrong. He had both a male and female parental influence in his life, which gave him an essential balance that helped keep him on the level, and I can only assume he was disciplined when he did do something wrong.

This is something a lot of kids are lacking. For someone with a mental illness, having both parents there (especially someone of the same sex as you) is critical to mental and emotional development. A mother is a daughter’s first female role model and the most important. The same is true for fathers and sons. We, as children, look up to our parents for guidance and values. We absorb it like sponges.

Sorry to get political about this, but I just had to share this video from Bill Whittle. He makes a very interesting point about gun violence and the breakdown of the traditional family:

 

The point he makes is that fathers are there to lend a sense of strength and moral fortitude to their sons, and these “fatherless boys” either had fathers who failed them or no fathers at all. This doesn’t mean that he’s saying boys and men shouldn’t show emotion; he’s saying that parents need to raise them to be strong, rather than fearful, in the world around them.

This strength of character applies to both men and women, but men are undeniably more stoic when it comes to baring their soul to the world. It’s a guy thing, and I respect that immensely. However, making sure that men have a healthy emotional outlet in a secure environment is crucial. Men, boys, and everyone else need to be able to feel comfortable discussing mental health issues.

It may seem like a delicate balance between raising boys to be strong-minded men and encouraging them to open up emotionally about their problems, but it’s not. Seeking help for mental illness doesn’t mean you’re weak; it means the opposite. Facing your problems instead of crying in a corner is a sign of strength.

If I were to sit in my room and cry all day about my mental illnesses, rather than getting up and doing the best I can with my life, I wouldn’t have become the strong woman I am today. I still have moments of emotional turmoil, and every day is a struggle. This doesn’t mean that I am weak. It means I’m doing my best and that I’m still human.

This humanity is what differentiates those who choose violence from those of us who don’t give in to weakness and take out our problems on schoolchildren in their classrooms. Psychopaths, schizophrenics and other sufferers of mental illness aren’t born violent. Their environment and role models are what shape them and everyone else on this planet. This is clearly evident in Fallon’s case, so it stands to reason that there are plenty of other psychopaths out there who are non-violent, and they can or have made good choices.

In the end, it’s how you’re raised and the values you are taught that make you the person you are today. It’s also what choices you make based on those values.