Being that it’s World Suicide Prevention Day, I’ve been thinking about my own experiences with suicide. I am, thankfully, still alive.

I have never attempted suicide outright. I’ve tried to slowly starve myself into nothingness over several months, and I’ve overdosed on medications and painkillers more times than I care to admit. I’ve taken prescriptions with alcohol like it was completely normal, and by the grace of God there were no ill side effects. I’ve walked the thin line between life and death many times, but I’ve never taken the big plunge.

I know this is because I realize the impact it would have on my family. If I’m gone, there’s going to be a hole left in their hearts. There’s going to be a big part of their daily life missing.

This might sound a bit pretentious or arrogant, but it’s not. I realize how valued I am by my family and friends. It took me a long time to feel like I was a person of worth, but it’s what has kept me from offing myself. Even during those times where I felt like I was nothing, I thought about the pain my death would inflict on everyone else. I was more concerned about others’ pain than I was my own, even when my mind was in the darkest depths of depression.

For anyone thinking about committing suicide, please know that you are valued. You are loved. You may think that you are totally alone in this world. You may have been abandoned by everyone close to you. But there is someone out there that needs you in their life. Without you, they will feel the same emptiness you’re feeling right now. You fill their life with joy because of the amazing person you are.

But know this… there is someone who loves you more than any human being has or will, and that someone is God. No matter how much you feel that you have failed, no matter how hard things get, He loves you infinitely and without limitation. Your life is precious in His eyes. Whatever you’re going through right now, God is watching over you. He wants you to lean on Him and trust in Him.

There is love to be had. An abundance of love. Don’t throw away your chance to receive it. You are an amazing human being, and I know that you are strong.